I've been chatting with some young managers lately, and it got me thinking about where I learned my most important professional lessons. It turns out that nearly everything I rely on today - in leadership, teamwork, and even close friendships - I first discovered working on a shop floor.

This is what dawned on me … customer service often gets dismissed as "just" entry-level work. But if you've ever worked a busy shop floor (or café, reception, contact centre, school, hospital – anywhere where you’re speaking to the public daily), and you've turned an angry complaint into a genuine solution, or kept your cool under pressure, you know better. There's nothing "just" about it. The skills you learn in those moments? They're profound and deeply human. They shape how you work, lead, and connect with others for the rest of your career.

Honest reflection: I haven't always gotten this right - I've learned through practice, mistakes, and some pretty difficult moments. But here's what customer service taught me about being the best version of myself:

1. Listen First, Solve Second

Real listening isn't just waiting for your turn to talk. It's giving someone your full attention because something matters to them, and they need to know it matters to you too. Most people don't come to you wanting to be impressed by your quick solutions. They want to feel heard first.

In practice: Reflect back what you've heard before jumping to solutions. Ask questions that show you're genuinely curious. Don't rush to fill those comfortable silences - they often hold the most important truths.

2. Be Reliable, Not Just Available

There's a huge difference between showing up and being dependable. Availability is being there. Reliability is showing up consistently, prepared, and with the same quality of care every time. When people know they can count on you - not just to be there, but to be your thoughtful best - you become someone they trust with what matters most.

In practice: Keep your commitments, big and small. If things change, communicate early and respect others' time. Remember, reliability isn't about perfection - it's about consistency and transparency.

3. Bring Calm to Chaos

The toughest customer service moments taught me something invaluable: in a crisis, people don't need your anxiety added to theirs. They need your steady presence and your genuine belief that together, you can find a way forward. It's not about forced optimism - it's about authentic calm that creates space for real solutions to emerge.

In practice: "Let's take a moment to think about this slowly." "I believe we can work this out together." "What would feel most helpful right now?" Presence, not platitudes.

4. Treat Everyone with Equal Respect

Every person who walks through your door deserves the same quality of attention and respect. Not because of their status, spending power, or mood, but because they're human. No hierarchies in how we treat people. No calculations about who might be "useful" later. Just consistent recognition of the dignity in every interaction.

In practice: Learn people's names and use them. Express genuine gratitude. Give your full attention regardless of someone's position. How you treat people when you don't "need" anything from them reveals everything about your character.

5. Find the Small Gesture That Makes a Big Difference

Exceptional service isn't about grand gestures or exhausting yourself for everyone. It's about developing the sensitivity to recognise when a small, thoughtful action can have meaningful impact. Sometimes it's staying late to help a colleague prep for a tough presentation. Sometimes it's a "thinking of you" text with no expectation of response. Sometimes it's remembering what someone mentioned weeks ago.

In practice: Pay attention to what people actually need, not what would be impressive to give. Let your actions say "I see you and you matter" without fanfare or expectation.

6. Kindness Includes the Courage to Say No

This took me years to understand: genuine kindness isn't endlessly saying yes. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is maintain healthy boundaries with grace and respect. You learn to deliver difficult news in ways that preserve everyone's dignity. "No" can be generous when it's honest and delivered with care.

In practice: Be clear about your boundaries before you're exhausted or resentful. When you need to decline, explain your reasoning with kindness. Remember that saying no to one thing often means saying yes to something more important.

The Deeper Truth: It's Not About Kindness, It's About Not Being Unkind

The most profound lesson? While kindness is wonderful, and the world definitely needs more kindness, what really matters is the conscious choice not to be unkind. Kindness might be a mood, but choosing not to be unkind is a discipline. Holding back the sharp comment when you're tired. It's resisting the eye-roll when someone frustrates you. It's choosing respect even when it's hard.

There'll be times when others behave badly. In those moments, don't lose your own character. Sometimes the wisest response is simply to walk away, because meeting disrespect with more disrespect only multiplies it. That quiet moment of restraint - when you feel the impulse to dismiss, diminish, or wound, and you choose differently - that's where character lives. That's where this becomes a life philosophy.